Attempt at Blogging: Take Two.

I haven't written here for about three months now. I had about half an entry written, up until my computer froze the other day. =/

I'll work on rewriting that this week, but in the meantime I'll leave you with the following. A friend who I was somewhat involved with, more or less, sent me this poem awhile ago, and I came across it again today. No matter how much I read it, I can't seem to fully make sense of it. This may be because at points it's vague, but also for any given statement I'll never know whether it's general or directed at me. But maybe I'm better off not knowing... Anyway, a few of you might have already seen this, yet I think it's at least worth another look.


picture this:
a huge ditch, a bottomless crevice, a large hole with only darkness to be seen when you carefully peer over the edge.
its scary to be that close.
its scary to not know what the darkness holds.
even scarier is the wanting to know just whats inside, what it is like to fall, what lies at the bottom.
its terrifying yet, inviting...

for me its like this:
when you like someone, you slowly get to know them, start talking to them, start hanging out with them.
later on you go out together and get more serious.

for me its like this:
its like walking towards something, while knowing what it is, yet not knowing how it will feel, and even then you truly dont know what it is.
its like walking towards a deep dark hole and yet still walking.
getting to know someone, is when you are walking towards the hole, but its still far.
the closer and closer you get, the harder it is to turn back.
the scarier it gets,
the more you know if you want to actually go.
depending on how much you like that someone, you might walk at different paces.
you might tiptoe, jog, or even sprint
but the closer you get, the more you learn about him and about yourself.
along the way, depending on how far you get, you might lose something along the way
a first kiss, trust, even your heart.

for me its like this:
when you know, you'll know.
you'll be running headfirst and jumping right into the dark unknown without a moments hesitation.
but when its in between, and you're first unsure is when you begin walking.
even then, in the back of you mind, you know, and you can tell,
but sometimes, you are blinded, convinced, hopeful.
so you being walking

for me its like this:
walking never works for me, and it'll never really end well.
i don't really understand the people who can get so far and realize that what they want is something else, so close to the hole.
they are the ones teetering at the edge of the blackness, looking down and wondering
if i wasn't completely sure, i would be terrified.
and yet some end up jumping in anyways, and end up broken and bruised, only to crawl out and start all over again, wary and suspicious.
the farther you walk forward, the farther you have to walk backwards, once you realize..
its hard to figure out sometimes, especially in the heat of the moment, and only is it truly clear when you look back.
if you're walking, chances are you won't end up sprinting.
just the opposite, you may end up running and then slowing down.
but when you know for a fact, and in your heart, you wont waste another second.
we all want our walks to end up something more, but i'm sorry to say, that usually never happens.

for me its like this:
the only time a relationship will work out, or even has a chance of working out, is when love is in the equation.
if not, there will always be something
its him
its you
either way, its not meant to be.
sprinting and the confidence in your decision is worth waiting for.

but my question is this:
in the meantime, while you are waiting, and you get the urge to walk, what should you do?
so be careful when you decide to go out for a stroll and begin walking.

-that's some of the stuff i wanted to say in our "talks"


Any insight?